Today my grandpa passed away~
I'm really confused at the moment.

Because I've some problems to show my feelings to my parents... I though maybe I could lose my story here~

My grandpa and I are just like water and oil.
We always starts really well, but ends up with fighting or arguments... 
I could remember since I was little he always underestimated me...till I was 15 I had it enough.
I couldn't stand it anymore! (I think it also had a part to do with my relationship with my parents, because they also made me feel like that I wasn't good enough)
Instead of visiting him every weekends... I started just visiting him just on holidays... and from holidays just once tills two times per year...     
I didn't hate him... I just can't get well with him.. I just don't want to argue anymore... 
But when he needs me I'll be there for him, but when he doesn't I just don't want to pay any attention to it anymore~

So the months and years passed us by~

When I see him I always greets him, but he couldn't recognize me anymore (but he remembered me)...

He somehow suddenly changed... I still can remember the day that he called me pretty for the first time, while when I was 11 or 13 he always called me fat!

But to be honest... I'm really thank-full for my younger niece!

Because of her I could see my grandpa this year, if it wasn't her... I'll not had a conversation with my grandpa again...
I'm really glad that she persuaded me that day, if she didn't I'm not sure or that I'll regret later...

I was really happy that in the end that my grandpa finally acknowledged me. 
He was proud that I'm working in a pharmacy and he was proud that he knows that I want to study further in healthcare.

I'm really confused at the moment it's because I just don't know how I'm supposed to react...
I had a bad relationship with him, but he is my grandpa... I just don't know how to feel~
 
Yet I'm kinda furious at the moment, because of the way how he left us~
(he actually had a chance to be saved, but the person with him didn't know how to handle so....)

Dear Grandpa,
You'll always have a special place in my heart~
And I'll never forget our last memories~
May you rest in peace ~

At first I wish everybody a Happy Valentine's Day!!
I kind of like Valentines day, because this is the day were peoples show their love to each other!
I like to see peoples trying hard to show that they care of each other. (It's more noticeable at February 14th, that's why I like it) I've saw a guy who was bought a rose and a valentine's card and rushing with his little daughter (it was so cute XD)

While everybody was trying to chase for each other love.. I was chasing for the food that I love 
I've found my new food addiction: Ladurée 
   
(I'm sooo in love with the green apple macaroon )

And I actually don't really like chocolates, but since I've tried the chocolates of Chocolateline .... I've been addicted to the Apero (green chocolate with rum and passionfruit) and Miss Piggy (Chocolate with bacon, I know it's sounds weird but it's really Yummy!)

Still 5 days to go and it's my birthday again. I can't wait for it! 
Because Shinee (my favorite band) new album will release on my birthday! 










~ For some reason every time when I hear your voice my heart beat faster ~
~ For you it could means nothing, but for me it could means everything~

I haven't blogged for a while, the last time that I've (really) blogged was about 6 month's ago~
The last 6 month's my health was not really good... In May I had a throat infection. So I tried different antibiotics and painkillers to stop the pain. It tokes me 2 weeks to recover. 
I was glad that I've recovered just in time, because at the first week of June I was going to New York for 2 weeks.
(but my heath isn't going very well this year)

My vacation in New York was amazing!
I haven't been there for 5 years and I think New York changed a lot.

I couldn't recognize some place anymore... If I had to walk by all by myself than I think that I'll get lost.
It felt so great to see my family again!
Though... I don't live there anymore, but when I was arrived it feels kind off 'I was finally at home.' 
The first couple days my aunt was took me to all the places where I used to go with my parents when I was younger. A couple days later my cousins showed me the places that I wanted to see: Madame Tussaud, Central Park & K-Town!

I think NYC is a beautiful city, but after I heard how many hours my cousins had to work per week... I don't think that I can survive in NYC. I've heard that they've to work like 50 -70 hours per week! When I've heard that the first question that I've asked was: Is that legal?! Probably it's normal in the U.S.
(@ the pharmacy I'm the only one who works 36 hours per week, while my other colleagues works 16-30 hours per week and they can still complain that they've to work that much...) 
I really enjoyed in NYC! When I was NYC I was look like a shopaholic X_X
Everything was so cheap! The food! The clothes! The make up! Every day I came back with 4-5 bags clothes!

     


   

   
I was actually hoping that NYC was a vacation to take some rest, but in the end it turned out that it wasn't. 
I haven't slept for 2 weeks! When I was staying over at my aunt place, I've slept on a wooden plank ... It wasn't comfort at all!! And at the first couple days I couldn't get use to the noise. Every night I can hear the ambulance or the police and cars.
I couldn't remember all those noise when it was 5 years ago... The last couple days I was exhausted, because lack of sleep.
But I still appreciate and cherish the moment that I've spent with my family!
The most funniest place that I've been there was: The Big Gay Ice Cream Shop
The ice cream there are really delicious I would definitely  recommend that place if you're looking for good ice!


I really appreciate and cherish the time that my family spend with me!
My cousin told me: You make me feel like a tourist here while you're actually the tourist, because of you I'm going to places where I've never been and I've living here my whole life @ NYC! 
When I was leaving NYC already, my Grandma almost cried. 
It felt like my heart was tearing apart to see that.
I was really happy to see my family again! I hope that I could go back there soon to see them again


Later in end of October I went with my cousin to Antwerp!
I love that city!  And Antwerp is definitely the place to get some rest.
Everybody there is so friendly! When someone sees you that you're lost, they will help you right away!
We've shopped, eat and drink some expensive champagne @ the ChampagneBar  

    
(This dog is made of chocolates)